When I was married to SFB, we had cats. We had two cats and one of them was an older female calico. I’ll bet that cat didn’t weigh more than 5 pounds. She hated SFB. (Shit for Brains)
We lived in a trailer that had front kitchen, dining and living room and then a long hall with the small bedroom and the bathroom, and back master bedroom. We had a king size waterbed, and the room was too small for the bed and the door to open, so we took the door off the hinges.
At that time SFB worked 3rd shift and slept during the day.
One day I was sitting in the living room, and I see her sitting at the living room end of the hall and then she takes off full speed down the hall. I hear SFB hollering at the other end of the hall, and she comes back and sits down again. So, the next time I see her sitting at end of the hall I get up to see what she does to make him holler. She takes off full speed down the hall and leaps into the air and lands full force in the middle of his stomach, launches off his stomach onto the counter across the back of the room, makes a u-turn and blazes back under the headboard and down the hall. She whirls around and sits down again. I swear to you that cat was laughing. So was I.
To start we had two cats and then the male cat passed away, so we went to pound and got two “free” county cats. So, then we had calico female Psychotic, gray tabby Neurotic and all black female Just Plain Deranged.
We had moved into a different mobile home with a middle living room and two bedrooms and a bathroom towards the front and then kitchen and master bedroom bathroom at the back. I was sitting in the living room in my chair and Psychotic was sitting in my lap. Neurotic was laying across the living room/kitchen doorway with his back to the living room. She sort of slides off my lap and goes down the hall towards the front bedrooms. And then I hear her come tearing down the hall. She goes zipping around the coffee table and times her leap so she can kick Neurotic in the back of the head as she jumps over him.
We had moved over to another house that had triple windows in the living room that faced the back yard. I had the windows open and there was a cat fight going on outside. Just Plain Deranged was in the window with all of her attention on the fight going on outside. Neurotic comes wandering into the living room and comes over to the window to see what up and he smelled her tail. It must have twitched a hair or two on her tail and she whirled around slapped him three times on the head before he even knew what hit him. You could tell he had scared the absolute shit out of her.
When my kids were really little, I had a dog that snuck up on a cat and scared the shit out of him. I had two kids under 2, two cats and a small dog. We had a wood screen door so of course the screen was pushed out in one corner. Early one morning, before the kids were up, I had the front door open, and the cat was sitting up outside on the porch, in the sun, asleep. The dog comes into the living room, and she sees the cat sitting on the porch. She starts out the door, one paw at a time. She’d move a front paw and stop, then she’d slowly pick up a back paw and move, never taking her eyes off the cat. Very, very carefully and quietly she went out that screen door and right up behind the cat. Ever see a dog take a deep breath? BARKBARKBARKBARK about 3 inches from that cat’s ear. The cat went straight up 3 feet and the chase was on. I about died laughing. That dog and cat actually wore a path out around the yard chasing each other.
anoldhippiechick 