So I went to the diner with my girlfriend for supper last night. My friend wonders why he doesn’t come over and chat like he usually does. Apparently he’ll stop by the booth and talk to her when she goes in by herself but when I’m there he doesn’t. But then when we go up to pay he flirts with me and gets all nervous. I flirt back. I really would go out with him if he asked, he’s tall and good looking and built really nice.
I have to get a new phone!!! I have a pre-paid flip phone and talking to Jack eats up the minutes like crazy!!! I’ve never used up 500 minutes in a month before!! I’ll get a pre-paid that has unlimited talk. I’m paying $35 a month for the phone I have and I can get a nice smart phone for $150 and only pay $45 a month. Seems like a no brainer to me!!! This is the perfect time to do it too since I’ll have three checks this week. I should get two checks today and then another one tomorrow. I’m also going to buy a Kindle Fire. The slowest part of tax season is coming up and I can’t find my Kindle anywhere. At one point it was laying on the nightstand but I had already put it away somewhere when I moved and I have no idea where. It’s just so much easier to put the Kindle in my purse than it is to go to a store and buy a half dozen books and then drag them to work. Plus I can get exactly the books I want without having to search half a dozen stores.
I talked to Jack a bit this morning. I told him I don’t want to leave my life. I don’t want to be his wife. I don’t want him to leave his wife either. I want to be his occasional thing. I want to give him the kind of fantasy sex that he won’t get from a wife. I want it to be hot and wild with no worries about the house or did you make the car payment or any of those kinds of things.
I also told him I’m not willing to give up Andy either. And I’m not. I would drive to see him too.
I actually do like my life pretty much the way it is. I like my job. I like my apartment. I have great friends and I don’t want to leave them either.
I wouldn’t mind adding somebody local to my life. Somebody to go out to dinner with, somebody to go to local events with, somebody to have great sex with but that’s the extent of it.
I think I’ll put a new ad on craigslist this weekend. I looked at the w4m section. There were 4 local ads. They were pretty sad overall. It’s no wonder I get dozens and dozens of emails!!!
I have Jack talking to me on the phone for hours at a time and Andy emailing me regularly. Andy emailed me saturday morning, after he knew I was at work, a really, REALLY steaming hot email about a dream he had about handcuffing me to something and having his way with me.
Then I talked to Jack for a good 3 hours on the phone. We are going to get together as often as we can. He thinks there’s a good chance his route will be western Nebraska. That would work. It’s not all that far away. He is hoping for western Kansas too. I’m pretty sure we’re going to spend my four day weekend in April together. I can barely breathe when I think about him sliding his arms around me for the first time. I already warned him he’ll never have sex as hot and as intense as what he’ll have when we get together the first time.
It really isn’t fair that I don’t get to keep either one of them. But at the same time, I actually have them both in my life. From what I can tell, Andy isn’t leaving me. He wants to come back as much as I want him to come back but he has to make a living and he isn’t going to move here either. I’ll very likely get to see Jack fairly regularly since he’ll be working close enough to where I am to drive to after work on fridays and come home on sunday afternoon. But he’s not going to give up his life and move either and I don’t want him to. And since he has a job that takes him away from home for extended periods of time, I’m not willing to give up my life and go live at his house alone.
And this is weird, Jack wants me to have Andy. Andy wants me to have Jack and both of them want me to keep an ad on craigslist and keep looking for the “right” man. I already have two “right” men and I don’t get to keep either one. With the way my luck is I’d find another fabulous man, fall in love and he’d leave me too.
I have remembered several more dudes and added them to the list. I’m up to an even 100 actually remembered. I really wish I hadn’t thrown away the original list.
The date was pretty much a waste of time. He got here late and never said a word about how I looked which was pretty rocking btw. We went to the Chinese place for dinner but the buffet was already closed so we ordered off the menu. He ate even less than I did. Then we went by the hotel so he could check in and then we went to a bar so we could sit and talk. He seemed pretty timid overall. We had one drink and while we were there his worked called so he called them right back. We left the bar and went over to the hotel and I thought he was going to make some kind of move but he never did. He jumped up and called his work at least twice and then he dumped the beer he was drinking out and said he should get going back to where he lived so he could go to work. He shook my hand goodnight when he dropped me off.
And then there’s Jack and Andy. Jack posted a different phone number on my fb so I called him on my way home from work today. I told him the answer is going to be yes. I told him there’s no way in hell I’m going to be able to say no once he puts an arm around me and he seemed pretty happy about that. We’ll definitely be getting together as soon as we can arrange it.
Andy is still talking to me by email. I really don’t think I’ll ever get to see him again though. <sigh>
I have an actual date for saturday! He’s 44, single, no kids, and gainfully employed. He sent me two pics. He’s attractive but not necessarily my type but the other pic, OMG!!! He’s hung!! Plus he’s really nice in email. He should be here by 7:30 saturday night and we’re going to go have Chinese buffet. After that… we’ll see.