I am stunned at the treatment I received from the woman I believed was my best friend for the last 35 years.
When she knew I was going to leave my husband she sent me the money to rent a U-haul and come to her house. We discussed for a good month the things I should bring with me. She said I should bring my sewing stuff and set up a “creative space” in the den. She said I’d have room for a bed and a dresser in the studio.
After I arrived in Denver with a truck load of stuff and started unloading into a storage unit and sorting things out to go to her house it was obvious she had seriously overestimated the amount of space that was actually available.
The bedroom dresser went to storage. There was just barely enough room for a mattress on the floor. They never managed to get around to getting the frame set up.
I put the computer desk in storage and she moved a computer she never used anymore off of a desk and set mine up there. While she was setting the computer up (Why she thought I wasn’t capable of doing it myself is beyond me) I mentioned that I needed the mouse down on a small table next to the chair since I have a shoulder injury and can only reach for so long before my shoulder is in screaming pain. It seemed to really piss her off and she said “We’re trying to accommodate you as best we can.” and slapped a coaster down on the desk. I was stunned.
We talked about which dresser out of my sewing room I should bring for the sewing space. I have two, one for a cutting center and one for an ironing center. She decided it would be best to bring the ironing center since I could take the ironing board off and use the top to cut on. I also brought the the sewing desk, the three Art Bin cubes and the bins and a couple of boxes of essential sewing things.
The dresser upset her Feng Shui. <sigh> For those of you that don’t know, Feng Shui is a Chinese way of arranging and placing specific elements in a room to maximize Chi (good energy flow). Feng Shui also tends to be clean and minimalist. Her house is more like a crowded museum. And it’s dirty. So, one day she insists the ironing dresser has to be turned around so she doesn’t have to walk past the front of the dresser. It’s Early American and it upsets her Feng Shui. Never mind that it wasn’t really functional turned the other way. All the other stuff has to be moved around to suit her Feng Shui and make it less accessable too.
Then there’s the dirty house problem. She’s always been a “surface” clean person. The counter would be clean but the cupboards are a wreck and the fridge is disgusting. I know for a fact that there were containers in the fridge that were in there when I arrived and were still there when I left almost 2 months later. Gross. Her laundry room is one of the filthiest rooms I’ve been in. I’ll bet the trash hadn’t been taken out of that room in at least 6 months.
Then there was the fight they had. About once or twice a week he’d come home and take the trash out. That particular night she had started bagging the trash up for him to take out and set it on the counter. She had several pop cans sitting on the counter and I put one of my empties next to hers. He had a childish fit and kicked the fridge door and made a big mess when the bar on one of the door shelves came off and a bunch of things fell out on the floor. I went upstairs and checked to see if my friend was alright and needed help. She said no and I went downstairs and went to bed. I had a feeling when I went to bed that by morning they’d be blaming me. They did. My one pop can is going to attract ants where her 4 cans magically won’t. The fight was on monday night and I left saturday afternoon. I could not get out of there fast enough.
For the last 13 years we have emailed each other every day, all day. Since saturday I’ve gotten two emails in response to a voice mail I left letting her know that I’d left some things in the entry closet.
She has stayed at my house 4 different times. The first time was around 14 years ago when she left her first husband. She stayed about 3 months. I _welcomed_ her to my home and made sure she had everything she needed.
The last three times were over the last two years and she stayed for about a month each time. She was contemplating leaving her current husband. When she was thinking about moving into *my* house she wanted to install a walk in tub and a stair lift. She got a whole empty bedroom and would have gotten a whole other room for her “studio.”