Fucker stood me up. I’ll give him a chance to redeem himself but just one.
I have a date in an hour with an ex hockey player. He says he doesn’t fuck until the 3rd date. We’ll see about that.
So I sent the email to Mr Kansas City just before noon and he still hasn’t replied. I told him I’m not coming tomorrow. When I woke up this morning I knew I really didn’t want to go. I have stuff I’d need to do here. I really need to do my stuff.
So there’s this very likely a great guy in Kansas City. He thinks he’s already fallen for me and we haven’t met yet. He pushed for me to come this weekend and I agreed. I’m having second thoughts. For one thing, I have a four day weekend and it’s almost tax season. Which means it’s going to be some time before I have any time off to speak of. Do I want to give my time to somebody else or do I want to keep it for myself and so some things around here? I can relax tomorrow and then work on getting my sewing room in shape and get this crazy plant repotted. Plus I don’t have much laundry to do so I’ll have plenty of time to do other stuff. Or just relax for that matter. Driving like that kills my back. What if I get all the way there and I’m not attracted to him? Suppose he has gained a ton of weight and doesn’t look like his pic anymore? You see my dilemma.
And here’s another thing, Andy already broke my heart. I don’t know as if I really want it broken for somebody else that won’t live here and I’m not willing to leave my life for. In spite of what people may think, I like my life. Plus there’s the “Andy Obstacle” to overcome now for any other man. In spite of what he says he was nothing short of amazing, both in and out of bed. I just don’t think I want less than him and I also don’t want to lose what I have now. I just got divorced. I haven’t even been rid of Bill for a whole year yet. I didn’t fully get rid of him until after it warmed up some this last spring.
Oh and here’s another thing, moving. No. I think that pretty much covers it. If I go get a drivers license with my correct address printed on it, I want to stay here until it expires. That would be a little over 4 years. That’s not the longest I’ve lived anywhere but it sure would be nice to not move for that long and give me a chance to go thu the crap in storage and get rid of a bunch of it.
How ’bout that. I think I just talked myself out of going. I love having these discussions with myself.
Gawd that woman is a pain in the ass. She grunts and groans with every step she takes which really gets on my nerves. Then she has some kind of complaint about virtually everything under the sun. I’m really not kidding about that either. We sat and played Clue after dinner and of course we just talked about things in general about what everybody is doing and she managed to turn several things around and turn them into complaints.
Then my sister was there and to begin with didn’t speak to me until after my Aunt showed up. Then of course my sister was just all kinds of nice. She didn’t say one word to me about SfB. She also didn’t ask me if I had seen my friend and why she didn’t get a call back. From what I can tell my friend doesn’t like my sister much because of the way she treats me and the way she has treated my mother over the last few years.
I had thought about going to the bar after I got home but I just didn’t have the energy.
I still haven’t got laid. I’ve talked to a whole lot of men by email in the last week since I put the ad on craigslist. A huge number of them have been dismissed as soon as I saw their pic. They’ve been too young, too geeky fat kid, way too fat, way the hell too old, etc. There have been a couple that I would consider going out with but they haven’t answered back. There was one that was pretty hot but he was too poverty stricken to take a girl out and I don’t really need that.
I’m also on a biker dating web site and I’m talking to a guy now in Kansas City that I would definitely do and he’s real interested too. I don’t think we’ll be able to get together until April though. Once tax season starts I won’t have time to do much more than go to work and do laundry.
Oh and extra joy, I have to go to my mother’s tomorrow. I’ll probably be entirely irritated by the time I leave. She is sooooooooooo negative. I swear I’ve never heard anybody bitch, piss and moan the way she does. For somebody like me that’s always in a good mood it *really* gets on my nerves. Especially since she bitches about the most minor, mundane things.
It wouldn’t be all that hard for a willing woman to get laid. I put an ad on craigslist. So far I’ve got nerdy, geeky types in their 20s, fat singles in their 30s and 40s and a couple of old guys. I even got a few married men even though I specified single. So there were a few fairly good possibles but one of them is in Texas, one of them is too poverty stricken to go out and just wants me to come to his tiny rat hole apartment, then I finally get pics from a couple that were interesting in email but they’re fat guys. Sorry, fat guys just don’t turn me on and aren’t going to turn me on. And I don’t mean guys with a few extra pounds, that I don’t mind, I mean like really fat guys. <sigh>