The Existential Questions

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I ask myself “what if” questions sometimes.

A new meeting is coming soon.  I’m on a dating website in addition to having the craigslist ad.  Friday I got a message that someone had viewed my profile, one that said he put me on his favorites list AND notification that he sent me an email message.  I looked at his profile of course and my girl parts said “oh hell yeah.”  Of course I would be flat broke and can’t talk to him until monday at 5 at the earliest and if I don’t get my damn bonus check it might not be until wednesday after 5.

He lives some distance away soooooo, I have to ask myself “if he’s the one, what then?”  Am I willing to give up this life?  This life is Andy and Randy and a fairly secure job and a decent apartment I can afford.  This life is also solace.  And a little bit of revenge too.

Or if he’s “the one” do I give it all up and move.  The “one” will have to be a pretty amazing man to get past the “Andy Obstacle.”  He made a major impact on what kind of man I’m truly looking for.  I will know him when I meet him.

It actually kind of amazes me that I’m still asking myself these questions at 58.

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