I have Jack talking to me on the phone for hours at a time and Andy emailing me regularly. Andy emailed me saturday morning, after he knew I was at work, a really, REALLY steaming hot email about a dream he had about handcuffing me to something and having his way with me.
Then I talked to Jack for a good 3 hours on the phone. We are going to get together as often as we can. He thinks there’s a good chance his route will be western Nebraska. That would work. It’s not all that far away. He is hoping for western Kansas too. I’m pretty sure we’re going to spend my four day weekend in April together. I can barely breathe when I think about him sliding his arms around me for the first time. I already warned him he’ll never have sex as hot and as intense as what he’ll have when we get together the first time.
It really isn’t fair that I don’t get to keep either one of them. But at the same time, I actually have them both in my life. From what I can tell, Andy isn’t leaving me. He wants to come back as much as I want him to come back but he has to make a living and he isn’t going to move here either. I’ll very likely get to see Jack fairly regularly since he’ll be working close enough to where I am to drive to after work on fridays and come home on sunday afternoon. But he’s not going to give up his life and move either and I don’t want him to. And since he has a job that takes him away from home for extended periods of time, I’m not willing to give up my life and go live at his house alone.
And this is weird, Jack wants me to have Andy. Andy wants me to have Jack and both of them want me to keep an ad on craigslist and keep looking for the “right” man. I already have two “right” men and I don’t get to keep either one. With the way my luck is I’d find another fabulous man, fall in love and he’d leave me too.
I have remembered several more dudes and added them to the list. I’m up to an even 100 actually remembered. I really wish I hadn’t thrown away the original list.