decisions, decisions

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So there’s this very likely a great guy in Kansas City.  He thinks he’s already fallen for me and we haven’t met yet.  He pushed for me to come this weekend and I agreed.  I’m having second thoughts.  For one thing, I have a four day weekend and it’s almost tax season.  Which means it’s going to be some time before I have any time off to speak of.  Do I want to give my time to somebody else or do I want to keep it for myself and so some things around here?  I can relax tomorrow and then work on getting my sewing room in shape and get this crazy plant repotted.  Plus I don’t have much laundry to do so I’ll have plenty of time to do other stuff.  Or just relax for that matter.  Driving like that kills my back.  What if I get all the way there and I’m not attracted to him?  Suppose he has gained a ton of weight and doesn’t look like his pic anymore?    You see my dilemma.

And here’s another thing, Andy already broke my heart.  I don’t know as if I really want it broken for somebody else that won’t live here and I’m not willing to leave my life for.  In spite of what people may think, I like my life.  Plus there’s the “Andy Obstacle” to overcome now for any other man.  In spite of what he says he was nothing short of amazing, both in and out of bed.  I just don’t think I want less than him and I also don’t want to lose what I have now.  I just got divorced.  I haven’t even been rid of Bill for a whole year yet.  I didn’t fully get rid of him until after it warmed up some this last spring.

Oh and here’s another thing, moving.  No.  I think that pretty much covers it.  If I go get a drivers license with my correct address printed on it, I want to stay here until it expires.  That would be a little over 4 years.  That’s not the longest I’ve lived anywhere but it sure would be nice to not move for that long and give me a chance to go thu the crap in storage and get rid of a bunch of it.

How ’bout that.  I think I just talked myself out of going.  I love having these discussions with myself.

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